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Pioneer Press -- Thursday, October 9, 2003    Page 17    OPINION

PFLAG is needed in Northwest Suburbs

Deb Hale lives in Palatine and works in Rolling Meadows.

By Deb Hale

I am writing in regards to the startup of a new PFLAG (Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) chapter here in Palatine (www.pflag-palatine.org).  This type of local support for homosexuals, bisexuals, transgenders and their family and friends is long overdue.  How do I know?  I’ve “been there, done that, bought the shirt”.

I went into severe clinical depression in 1997 and was hospitalized for being suicidal in 1998.  I was in denial about the fact that I was born a lesbian.  I realize that many people disagree with this statement, but I would challenge them by asking WHY anyone would CHOOSE to be discriminated against, ostracized by most religions, run the risk of losing their job, family or friends?  I certainly do not look at the cost of being homosexual as being insignificant or trivial.  I have a graduate degree and therefore do not consider myself ignorant or lacking in the common sense department.  I struggled for 3 ˝ years with this issue before I could bring myself to the point of choosing to accept who I am rather than fighting it.

Once I accepted who I am, I was faced with the realization that I didn’t know where to turn for information about this “hidden community”.  Where could I find others to talk to?  What materials were available to help me try to understand what this might do to my family?  Where could I go for help in trying to decide whether or not to “come out” to my family and friends?  I felt that I was cast adrift without a map let alone any type of rudder.  The good news is that I came out of my severe depression.  The bad news is that I had even more questions than I had before.

Being “internet literate”, I turned to the web.  I began searching for resources.  What I discovered is that resources DO exist, providing that I was willing to undertake a minimum of an hour’s travel time just to get to the resource. I was fortunate in that I had the time, finances, and desire to utilize these distant resources.  I began to wonder how others coped if they were not able to make the trip.  Did they just “give up”?

It has taken me several years in order to be ready to step up to the challenge of helping others.  My partner provided the “cattle prod” to get us going, and together, we have started a local PFLAG chapter.  This chapter is not for us, it is for the community.  Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgenders (GLBT) live and work right here in Palatine and the NW suburbs!  We do not all live together in the “Gay Community” downtown.  Many of us prefer the suburbs for the same reasons that other individuals and families prefer to live here rather than in the city.  We are your neighbors, your co-workers, your Police Force, your Fire Department, your hospital staff, your teachers, and bus drivers.

PFLAG is a resource that is available to everyone.  Anyone who has questions regarding GLBT issues is welcome.  You do not have to be GLBT to attend.  You do not even need to know someone who is.  Perhaps you simply would like to understand something about the GLBT people and issues that have been in the news lately.  Perhaps you would like to be able to read material that presents a different view of the issues than what you are accustomed to seeing.  We are already in the process of building our own library of reference materials.  PFLAG provides a safe, confidential place to seek answers to questions for EVERYONE in the community – including you!

Check us out!  We meet the 4th Monday of the month at the Palatine Public Library.  See our website www.pflag-palatine.org or call (847) 358-3994 for additional information.  We’re here to help.